Most of us are good listeners, the people we talk to just never know it. They don’t know it because we don’t engage in a proactive manner which ensures they feel heard. Often when conflict arises, we try to listen, but because the individual we engage doesn’t feel heard, their defensive gates remain firmly shut and we can’t find resolution.
Typically, defensive gates to communication are brought up out of response to a situation similar out of the past. It is a preprogrammed reaction against a historical precedent that we have to fight against. To do this we have to illustrate and explain how the present and ourselves are significantly different from the past and past experience.
So how do we make sure that the other party knows that we are not only listening, but that we understand what they are saying? When breaking down communication there are a few key strategies which will help your counterpart feel heard and ensure you can get to a resolution, read more on how to be heard and help others feel heard.